Are You Focused on the ‘Win’ or the Outcome?

We work in an industry where confidence is a must, where self-belief is essential, and where it’s often important for us to get our professional point across in the interests of our clients.

But here’s the thing…there’s a difference between confidence, ego and arrogance. There’s also a subtle distinction between offering a point of view and needing to be right.

Sometimes rather than clocking up the quick win that comes with being correct and ‘being right’, we need to focus on the outcome and concede a point in the interests of a greater goal.

But what’s right is right

Believe me, I get it. I’m a big believer that ‘what’s right is right’ and ‘what’s wrong is wrong’. And neither should be considered as a ‘negotiable’ point.

But while that mantra can be useful as a moral compass, I guess it’s also where I often stumbled.

After all, let’s not skirt around the fact that perception of what is right can come from an ego-driven and even stubborn point of view.

And it’s about here that we get into dangerous territory. When we’re wading in the waters of ego and a stubborn oppositional belief, we are in an emotionally charged space.

And when we are operating from a basis of emotion, we do not make rational decisions.

Instead, we have irrational, knee-jerk reactions which, more often than not, result in a negative impact instead of a positive outcome.

Stand firm or through to the keeper?

We might be entirely convinced we are right. And sure, there’s quite the possibility that we are indeed correct about a specific situation or thing, but does that mean we need to stand firm on that particular issue?

In other words, does being right in that situation really matter? Or is this a battle you might want to respectfully concede in the interests of winning a greater war?

And we’ve all seen this play out in real life, in both interpersonal interactions and on a global scale.

Perhaps it’s a dispute between your children, two colleagues, a spouse, between two political parties or even countries.

There will always be battles that we need to quietly concede. There will always be things we take exception to or don’t believe are correct that we need to let through to the keeper.

There will be times when we have to suck it up and remain tight-lipped to save further confrontation.

Losing the battle, winning the war

Every now and then we will need to concede a battle to win a war. It’s a simple requirement if we are to navigate through life.

This concession is not about dismissing our validity. It’s not about overturning our self-belief or ignoring our sense of righteousness.

Instead, it is about allowing others to save face. It’s about de-escalating a situation, avoiding a confrontation, and positioning ourselves to come out the other end in a better position.

It’s focusing on the prize, the outcome, and removing all references to ‘ego’ so that we can make the right choices.

The alternative is to stand firm, and ‘win the battle’.

And sure, chances are we’ll feel good about that for a short period of time. We’ll feel vindicated, in the right, and validated.

But soon that victory will quickly start to feel hollow. It could even come to be something we regret – especially if standing firm for a small victory actually results in losing the war we were fighting to win.

About the Author

Manos Findikakis is the CEO of Agents’Agency, Australia’s first multi-brand real estate network, ‘the only fully integrated solution for you and your people to create an unforgettable experience.’

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